Critter Comix Week 6 !

A recent experience I had in an airplane.

Airplanes are, without question, the closest thing we have to sanctioned human suffering. Every time I board one, I feel like I’m willingly stepping into a metal tube designed by someone who has never actually met a human body. The seats are so tiny it’s like they expect passengers to travel in a gentle state of spiritual vapor. My knees? My spine? My will to live? All instantly compromised the moment I sit down.

So on my Thanksgiving flight, I’m already in “survival mode.” I’ve tucked my legs in like I’m trying to smuggle them across state lines. I’m breathing shallow so my ribs don’t expand too much. And then it happens.

The man in front of me decides to recline. Not gently. Not like a normal, considerate human being. No. This man throws his entire soul into it. He SLAMS his seat back with the force of a medieval battering ram, directly into my knees. My body folded like a lawn chair. I think I saw God for a second.

I’m sitting there, stunned, trying to remember how circulation works… and he turns around.

He looks at me.

And flips me off.

As if my knees personally launched an attack on his chair. As if I engineered turbulence just to inconvenience him. The audacity was so bold it almost became a performance art piece.

At that point I realized: air travel isn’t transportation. It’s a psychological endurance trial. A test of character. A spiritual obstacle course where the prize for surviving is simply being allowed to stand up again.

Honestly, I’m just impressed the FAA hasn’t banned me yet (for having knees).